I have a long interest in the relationship between objectivity and subjectivity. It is the basis of my dialectical thinking, so much out of fashion these days. Objectively, all caring situations are different. Of course, elderly 24/7 lone carers all have some things in common, as their collective description indicates. Moreover, they are likely, because of their age, to have certain age-related disabilities. Beyond that, there are a wide variety of circumstances. These will certainly have some influence on how carers relate to their situation.
Subjectively, much will depend on their personality and their relationship with that all important person, their caree. I was a voluntary counsellor for some years, but I am not claiming that this has been useful in my caring role. I wasn't just a casual counsellor, but trained intensively. I just never got paid for the work I did. That seems to be a bad habit of mine ! I trained at the Swarthmore Centre, Leeds, Craven College, Skipton, the University of Leeds at Bretton Hall and with Relate. I have heard a lot of people's stories, but caring has taught me things I never could have imagined.
Some of us will have more nurturing personalities than others and derive great personal satisfaction from the caring role. There may be some difference between female and male carers, but I am not able to say anything definitive about that. Some of us may not be natural carers, but more inclined to relate to our fellow human beings in rationalistic ways, without necessarily entirely lacking in empathy.
We are not entirely alike, however much we may have in common. It is the interaction between objective and subjective factors which interests me. If we are at all political, we may note the power-play involved in caring, between carer and caree and between both and all aspects of the outside world, from immediate family to extended family, from the NHS to social services and politicians, etc. The extent to which we are able bring our emotions into awareness is important, as is the relationship between feeling and thinking, another dialectic which frequently lacks any kind of synthesis.
It may seem odd to think of caring providing job satisfaction. It isn't a job in the normal sense of the term, just a form of labour, largely unpaid labour ! Yet I have heard carers express some satisfaction in the work they do, even a great deal of satisfaction. But it ain't necessarily so. This needs to be remembered. What for some may be a labour of love, for others is hell on earth. Where have I heard that before ?
What do you think ?
2 comments:
I think that no matter what the personality (subjective feelings) of the carer there a number of external (objective) factors that are likely to have a strong influence on how a carer feels about their situation.
The carer’s own health, whether the carer is the sole carer, whether the carer and carer have supportive family and friends, the amount of contact, support and stimulation the carer and caree have from ‘the world outside the home’, time for the carer to be themselves and follow their own interests, whether the caree has a degenerative condition, how much sleep the carer gets, whether the caree is depressed or angry or in pain, financial security and the means to ‘buy’ extra support.
Whilst I am sure that personality plays a part in how a person feels about their caring role…perhaps for some carers caring satisfies a need to feel needed or perhaps what some carers mean when they say they find caring rewarding is just glad that they are in a position to make a horrible situation for their caree less horrible…and of course for some nurturing comes more naturally than others. BUT no matter what the personality of the carer the objective circumstances listed above (and I’m sure there are others) are likely to make a big difference to how the carer will feel about their situation.
As human beings most of us need contact with the world outside home, friendship and support, the time to pursue our individual interests, to feel valued and to feel that our role is valued. Even just to laugh and have fun with other people.
Carers are less likely than non carers to have the above opportunities and the elderly 24/7 even more unlikely to.
And of course having too much time to think about life doesn't help! (Especially if you are the kind of person who thinks deeply). In my opinion life doesn't really bear too much thinking about....as humans most of us need the distraction of the world outside.
Yes I think that the interaction between between objective and subjective factors is going to produce a different outcome in each particular case. I would like to say that caring ought to be a voluntary activity. Nobody should be coerced into it. However, many carers are and will continue to be until we find a way of empowering both carer and caree, in their particular situation.
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